Three days ago, three children that may have been digging in a backyard of an old abandoned house found a treasure. The old brother of one of the kids was inside of the house when his little brother called him arguing that they have found a grave of an ancient king, but the adolescent in a quick move, took the treasure out before the police arrived to the place.
However, the teenager did not noticed that he had lost his wallet while he was scaping from the old house so he left there all his personal documents. When he decided to return to the house, the police have already arrived and they noticed that the boy was carrying a big bag with something inside. The boy run away again and the police started to chase him but all its effort was in vain because even now the boy still hidden and nobody can find him.
However, the teenager did not noticed that he had lost his wallet while he was scaping from the old house so he left there all his personal documents. When he decided to return to the house, the police have already arrived and they noticed that the boy was carrying a big bag with something inside. The boy run away again and the police started to chase him but all its effort was in vain because even now the boy still hidden and nobody can find him.
Hi Pablo!, how are you?
ResponderEliminarI liked your story because it doesn't have a very happy ending hahaha. You used passive voice very well but I just have identified some little mistakes.
It is very difficult to know when to use the verb in past or present when we are using passive voice. I think in most of the cases you should have used the verb in past, for example:
instead of "arguing that they have found" I would put "arguing that they HAD found" because it is something that already happened.
Or: instead of "the police have already arrived" , I would have used "the police HAD already arrived".
Im not quite sure about this, but that's better because we will have to look for it :)
Best regards
Sorry about my looooooooooong post!
ResponderEliminarjajaja do not worry about that, thanks for the tips ;)
ResponderEliminar